Dallas, TX - FC Dallas, today, announced that their upcoming 9-11 game against the San Jose Earthquakes would feature $9.11 tickets and the debut of their Mountain Dew Drone Strike Kiss Cam.

“Get caught unawares at the next game,” stated Dan Hunt, owner of FC Dallas. “Our drone operators are on the hunt and we are looking for the next target to strike! It could be you!”

Sources indicate that the Mountain Drew Drone Strike may target groups of schoolchildren and journalists in order to warm up the crowd before finding amorous couples in search of a lonely place to neck.

“You can buy high resolution photos of the drone strike at our Avoid The Noid First Responders Doritos Cool Ranch Fund Raiser Photo Booth,” stated Hunt. “And don’t forget to take a picture with our authentic life size replica Mission Accomplished banner, before the game begins.”

Fans were also encouraged to visit the concourse at half time to buy the new promotional "Burritos of Mass Destruction" but as of this writing, no fans or journalists were successful in finding them.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Dan Hunt denies any of this took place.