Despondent Philadelphia Union Fan Demands To Be Part Of Citywide Depression As Philadelphia Mourns Second Straight Championship Loss

Philadelphia, PA- Philadelphia Union fan Sam Hays demanded to be included in the citywide depression after the Eagles lost Super Bowl LVII to the football team from Kansas City extending the Philadelphia citywide curse to two straight major sports championship losses.

“Goddammit, I HURT TOO,” stated Hays to depressed friend and Eagles fan James Thurston.

Sources say that Hays felt distinctly left out as the city bemoaned the loss of two straight championships.

“WE LOST AS WELL, GODDAMMIT WE LOST AS WELL,” stated Hays. “I was THERE man. I had my heart ripped out. WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO COUNT.”

Sources indicate that local sports mourned the loss of the Phillies and the Eagles while a mention of the Union happened on the Philadelphia Inquirer, largely due to employing people who care.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Hays spends most of Monday dovetailing the loss to his experience in 2022.