Portland, OR - From his offices at Providence Park, Portland Timbers and Portland Thorns owner Merritt Paulson called embattled Spanish FA President Luis Rubiales to lend his support as the President received widespread condemnation for giving Spain midfielder Jennifer Hermoso an unwanted kiss on the lips.

“Well, you know….. Boys will be boys,” stated Paulson to Rubiales. “What you did isn’t really that bad… it isn’t like you sexually assaulted and demeaned players repeatedly over your career across multiple teams and then had all of that information covered up. It’s just a kiss.”

Sources indicate that Paulson said he, “Felt a strange kinship with Rubiales,” as he decried the, “culture war against men and women being men and women,” in an email to new Timbers CEO Heather Davis.

“Look, I think we’ve all been there,” stated Paulson. “and we shouldn’t give in to the reactionaries. Isn’t there room for him to grow? To Live? To kiss other women with permission? I believe in a world where we don’t report things like this and we just let people figure things out.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as another scandal will eventually hit Paulson.