Only 30 More Hours Of Work At Minimum Wage Til Union Fan Can Afford Replica Kit As Long As He Doesn't Eat, Drink, Pay Rent Or Taxes

PHILADELPHIA - Union fan Sam Phillips stated that he had only 30 more hours at the minimum wage of $7.25 an hour until he would be able to afford a replica Philadelphia Union kit as long as he doesn’t eat, drink, pay rent or taxes.

“I basically need to not exist as a human and I can afford this $200 replica kit at the end of the week,” stated Phillips to no one in particular. “I need to support my team and this is the way I show how I support them.”

Sources say that Phillips one source of joy in an unending existence of toil is his local soccer team as he makes every game and cheers on the Union.

“I’m just hoping that my car stays running, I don’t have a medical emergency, my landlord doesn’t evict me , my dog doesn’t have any issues, I don’t go sick, and I can find another job alongside the job I’m already working to cover my season ticket payments,” stated Phillips. “It’s not easy out here, but the boys know my sacrifice.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Phillips applies for a new credit card to cover the cost of the Union kit.