Minnesota United Win Over Everton Convinces Fan That Loons Are At Least A League Two Side

Minneapolis, MN - The recent 4-0 win over Everton by Major League Soccer (MLS) side Minnesota United reportedly convinced Loons fan Daniel Evans that his team is at least a League Two level side.

“If we can defeat Everton, then we could be very competitive with the likes of Gillingham, Grimsby, Doncaster and Leyton Orient,” posted Evans to his Twitter account.

Evans insisted that if you take into account the level of Everton, that he thought the Loons could even challenge Northampton Town.

“This decisive victory over Everton proves that this team is ready for the struggle for promotion out of League Two,” stated Evans. “I think this victory of Everton shows our abilities and I think that with a full squad we could even challenge above the level of Everton and push for mid table as a League One side.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Minnesota United get knocked out of the US Open Cup by a group of semi-pros again.

Colorado Rapids Announce They Are Not Giving Up On The Season Until After Second Transfer Window

Denver, CO - Vehemently denying that they are done making deals for 2022, the front office of the Rapids stated that they would, “Not give up on the season until after the second transfer window is closed.”

“We will be tough and we will fight all the way until the end of August 4th,” stated one Rapids insider. “At which point we will then give up, but NOT one moment before then.”

Indicating that the trade of Mark-Anthony Kaye was, “only the beginning,” the Rapids detailed their upcoming plans to aggressively try to win the season until August 4th before collapsing during the fall.

“This is OUR time,” stated one anonymous source. “You cannot look at these deals in isolation. You HAVE to look at our record over the last 5 years, or rather… forget that… what we mean is that you can only look at what we are going to do going forward that only we know about that we won’t tell you about because we have a plan. We are going to win these next few weeks and then we are going to give up, but we won’t give up until we win these next few weeks. I know the boys in the locker room feel the pressure of August 4th just like everyone else.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Rapids reach out to an underperforming USL midfielder, a depth fullback from Macedonia and a possible backup striker from Benin.

Los Angeles Fans Band Together To Make Alexi Lalas Feel Unwelcome At Their Games As Well

LOS ANGELES - Proving to be a bigger unity point than anything else n their short history, fans of the Los Angeles Galaxy and Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) announced a plan to band together to make Alexi Lalas feel unwelcome at their games.

“We will not stand by and have him feel only unwelcome at so-called rivalry games in Seattle,” stated LAFC fan Roger Jimenez. “We need to make certain that he feels like we are hostile and unwelcoming as well.”

Sources indicate that a truce only related to making Lalas feel unwelcome has been negotiated between fans with all other ideas of working together instantly voided.

“I hate LAFC and their fans, but we need to do this thing so that Lalas can go away,” stated Galaxy fan Jonas Gutierrez. “Other than that, their stadium can sink into the ocean.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Lalas claims this is a victory for him.