THE WORLD - Sources from across the world admit that Leagues Cup madness shows no sign of ending as the tournament enters its 463rd week of competition.

“I can’t even remember what place my team is currently in,” stated one soccer fan. “It’s been a long journey but I think eventually Frodo is going to throw the ring in Mt Doom or some shit.”

Politicians across the spectrum admit that they didn’t anticipate the wholesale societal distress, riots and celebrations that would take place due to Leagues Cup games.

“If we knew what we were going to experience with the repercussions of the New England Revolution vs NYCFC game, we would’ve deployed the army,” stated Carolina Cosse, the Intendant of Montevideo, Uruguay.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as MLS announces they will complete the 2024 season in 2026.

CHICAGO - Sources with the US Soccer Federation state that new United States Men’s Team (USMNT) coaching hire Mauricio Pochettino officially submitted his list of players he wants the federation to sign in order to compete at the world level.

“He wants a team fans can 'fall in love with,” stated one person who was at the location.

Sources indicate that Pochettino wants to create a pressing, dynamic team full of character with players who have to fight to get into the lineup.

“He is going to demand a lot and needs players who can hold up to those demands,” stated one insider.

With the World Cup coming up fast, Pochettino asked the USSF to compete in the next transfer window to sign more players to the squad.

“It’s a bit threadbare right now, if I’m honest,” stated one insider with Pochettino’s staff. “However, we believe that we can get this squad heading in the right direction with a bit of investment at the forward, midfield, defense and goalkeeper positions.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as USMNT fans plan for Pochettino’s World Cup victory parade.