Independent MLS Journalist Successfully Uses YouTube Earnings To Purchase A Share In An Individual Packet Of Maruchan Chicken Flavor Ramen

INTERNET - Independent Major League Soccer (MLS) journalist Barry Evans stated that he was able to successfully use his entire YouTube earnings to purchase a share in a packet of Maruchan chicken Flavor Ramen.

“Between this and the free Taco Bell fire packets I have stocked up I am pretty set for dinner for the weekend,” stated Evans to The Nutmeg News.

Evans was reportedly in year 1 of, “Chasing his dream as an independent content creator and MLS Journalist,” as he boldly struck out on his attempt at turning his blog into a YouTube channel.

“It’s one thing at a time these days,” stated Evans to The Nutmeg News. “But I can finally say that my career move is paying off. Not many people cans say their passion bought them 50% of their dinner they are sharing with an entire MLS Podcast, but here we are.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Evans plan of decreasing his debt by not paying his student loans in hopes that this will allow him to diversify into peanut butter and jelly and an articulated microphone arm.

Red Stars Fans Announce Plan To Seize The Means Of Production

CHICAGO - In light of the recent news that the Chicago Red Stars would be re-branding to Chicago Stars due to a theoretical link to communism, fans of the Red Stars stated that they would be unionizing, marching, and seizing the means of production as they advocated for collectivism in the face of, “an assault by the Bourgeois elite.”

“This is unfettered capitalism at its finest,” stated one anonymous comrade, “they attempt to limit our control of the grain, the potatoes and the soccer. We will have none of it.”

Sources say that the Red Stars fans didn’t associate the naming of the team with any specific ideology until the team decided that it might have a vague allusion to communism which then made the fans realize they were missing an opportunity.

“ALL THIS TIME IT WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE,” stated one comrade. “We could’ve been creating our own Politburo and ensuring that the will of the people was carried out. Instead we’ve just been going to games and having to deal with really shitty ownership groups for all this time. Imagine all the time we lost that we could’ve spent ensuring representatives of the people overseeing the banks, farms and cooperative owned grocery stores.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when the Red Stars fans shock the Bourgeois elite by asking for, “An ownership group that isn’t a flaming bag of shit.”

San Diego Wave Win 2024 Merritt Paulson Award For The Most Hostile NWSL Workplace Of The Season

“It’s a true honor to be following in the footsteps of legendary ownership groups like Merritt Paulson and Armin Whisler,” stated one San Diego Wave employee. “It was a team effort to reach this point and we have to thank Jill Ellis, Ron Burkle, and Megan Wakefield for all their contributions.”

Sources say that the Wave are adding their 2024 Merritt Paulson Award to their 2023 Shield and their 2024 NWSL Challenge cup in the awards section of their facility.

“It’s important for us to acknowledge all the victories for women in this group,” stated one Wave spokesperson.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this because it just seems to never end.