San Jose, CA - The San Jose Earthquake front office announced on Friday that they were working towards some very minor signings the like of which have been seen a multitude of times in Major League Soccer (MLS).

We've finally signed someone that played for us already at one point. #HYPE

"None of these upcoming signings will be considered major, even in our league" stated Earthquakes president Dave Kaval. "However, we still want to announce these minor signings in a major way. We are planning on really putting a blitz of information out there regarding our minor signings and trying to show that we are actually acquiring players, even if those players are pretty much run of the mill players in this league."

With the Earthquakes targets being a utility defensive player, a hardworking forward with an inability to score and a fullback that they want to use as trade bait for draft considerations, they reportedly understand that none of these are considered news makers, but they plan on treating them as though they are anyway.

"MINOR ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON" -- Stated the Earthquakes twitter account that acknowledged the truth of the upcoming signings for the team from San Jose.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Earthquakes put out a press release about Adam Jahn's favorite burrito.