LOS ANGELES - Fast Food empire Chick-Fil-A has announced that they will be giving out free scarves for the first 2000 entrants of the L.A. Galaxy game against the Portland Timbers on the 10th of April
"Unless that is a euphemism about anything else, in which case you should stop immediately."
The double sided scarves will read, "ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE" on one side and, "EAT MOR CHIKIN" on the other.
The Nutmeg News spoke with Chick-Fil-A corporate public relations about the promotion and they had the following to say.
"It is important to us as a brand to ensure that our religious values are followed by all our stores," stated brand manager Harvey Stevens.
"This is why all of our franchises close on Sunday, as that is the Lord's day and we advocate that our employees should attend church. We feel that soccer is our best way at putting forth our delicious chicken sandwiches, waffle fries, pickles and our viewpoint that Gay marriage is antithetical to the ideals of a God fearing Christian republic. As our owner Dan Cathy stated in 2014, 'I think the time of truths and principles are captured and codified in God’s word and I’m just personally committed to that.' So what we are interested in doing here is showing that God's word is about making sure people know that they are sinners, but that they should eat our delicious chicken sandwiches even if they are going to hell for their sin. Plus, if it makes you feel better, all the stores are franchises, so just convince yourself that you don't need to stick to your beliefs about equality because the money doesn't directly flow to our corporate office. Whatever works, just eat more chicken sandwiches and stop asking us about this. Chick-Fil-A has decided to be mostly completely neutral, at least publicly, on this thing now that people got mad about us not being neutral at all."
The Nutmeg News will have more on these as the limited number of scarves creates a buying frenzy on E-Bay.