Gary, IN - United States soccer fan and budding journalist Mary Hartford took time out of her busy schedule to get out in front of the brewing backlash to the Stars and Stripes FC story on Alex Morgan with a preemptive PreLash.
May Carli Lloyd have mercy on your souls, you brave people.
"It was important for me to acknowledge the backlash to the story before it even existed," said Ms Hartford. "I find that if we deal with some preemptive PreLash towards the backlash, it allows all of us non-obsessive but yet still fully passionate people about 30 to 45 minutes of hilarity before the depressing reality of the cult of personality surrounding United States Women's players kicks in. I plan on making fun of these obsessive fans while also dabbling in some self deprecating humor."
While Ms. Hartford admitted that it seems a bit odd to head something off at the pass that doesn't exist yet she stated that it was only natural as a coping mechanism.
"The crazy is strong, out there. I don't know what it is, but there is a superhuman effort at an almost cult like obsession of the individual, micro details about many United States Women's team members that is well over the line of unhealthy," stated Ms Hartford to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday.
"Honestly, this single minded obsession with the international game over anything else allows the establishment to devalue the women's club game and pay their players unlivable wages for an entire season of work. These obsessive fans are saying that they only want to devote eyeballs and dollars towards the top 11 players in the United States and really only the top three of those 11. All that does is exacerbate the divide between the top 11 and the great players on the cusp who can't make the international squads and are working two jobs to make ends meet."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms. Hartford checks the responses to the story before turning off social media for the rest of the day.