Charleston, SC - Soccer fan Davis Maglor has admitted that a general feeling of conspiracy has leaked into his life from his rampant speculations regarding (as he stated), "the multiple overarching conspiracies in North American soccer."
"Can't you see the army of twit-bots that perpetuate the myths that I'm antisocial and that MLS is big in this country! It's a robot attack army hired by the Indian Monarchy to prevent soccer from getting big so they can get cricket to be huge here instead."
"How do I know that you aren't part of a secret US Soccer Federation detective agency hell-bent on taking my words and twisting them into.... oh .... damn... I'm doing it again," stated Mr. Maglor to The Nutmeg News on Wednesday. "You see, I can see them all the time in soccer so its easy to start imagining that there are secret cabals and formations and people out to get me in real life. OR MAYBE THERE ARE! I'm not certain anymore. I can't really see the difference between the lack of US Open Cup Streams and the faked Moon Landing on a sound stage in Chula Vista."
According to friends in his life, Mr. Maglor's nonsensical ramblings have taken a turn for the worse after he started reading individual proclamations of "how things are" from Twitter and Blogs online and assuming that they are factually true.
"He just started accepting that everything that he read was true. He told me once that he wasn't 100% certain that Don Garber wasn't a corporation registered in Rhode Island and run by a consortium of ex-pat Belgian land owners who want to ensure that Promotion and Relegation never happen by controlling the voice of soccer at the top division," stated friend Roger Joyce.
According to Mr. Maglor, he has to be careful about what he says as the censorship brigades from Major League Soccer may curtail his free speech (as they are want to do) in his private home after he ordered MLS Live 4 years ago before he knew the truth.
"They are coming for me, they are coming for my streams, they are coming for my soccer knowledge! I will be assimilated if I am not careful and my vital fluids absorbed into the dynamic fluid exchange of people who know soccer! None of this will prevent when the mole people elected by Zlatan come to take over the lower divisions in North America but my god! WE MUST STAY STRONG! I have recently gained a suspicion of my current girlfriend Sandra being involved. She says things like, 'I'm visiting friends this weekend,' but we all know that is code for being involved in a cabal to bring down my business interests!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Maglor's twitter account gains 2000 followers due to his rants.