The editors of The Nutmeg News announced that they inspired another team to victory after a recent news article on the Chicago Fire sparked (WORD PLAY) the fire into a winning inferno.

Hey Chicago, you are almost to double digit goals! Keep it up!

"This is exactly what we were able to do for Sporting Kansas City and the Colorado Rapids," stated Senior Editor, a junior editor of The Nutmeg News who was fresh from his vacation to the south of Mexico where he took a bunch of recreational drugs for a week to clean his mind and find a pure aura. "We pushed them to play better from our position off the field and directly contributed to their win. We love to take credit and this is no difference, so we will take our congratulatory gifts from the Chicago Fire, soon."

Reportedly, other teams fanbases have started requesting additional TNN articles to be written on their struggling team as a way to get them out of the doldrums of May.

"I'd love for them to write an article on how shit OUR organization is," stated Houston Dynamo fan Andrea Sorensen. "We need a win and a continuous run of form and this season is getting old mighty fast."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as more teams continue to yo-yo in the standings due to our good luck charm of relentlessly bashing them.