Long Island, NY - Max, a pyro sniffing dog that lives with his trainer David Browning in Red Hook, has admitted that he has been struggling with the duality being an advocate for pyrotechnics in soccer and avowed soccer ultra as well as being a flare sniffing dog at the upcoming Cosmos and NYCFC US Open Cup game.
NO PYRO, NO PARTY
"I'm against modern football," stated Max as he dutifully pushed around a snausage on the floor with his nose. "However, I also need to make a living. This job has been good to me for the most part. I mean, it pays me on time, I get belly rubs and I'm mostly recovered now after that time I got hooked on prescription antihistimine and pure, uncut Peruvian cocaine at JFK. Now THAT was a crazy few months."
Max has been a fan of the game of soccer and supporters groups after befriending a Hungarian Vizsla named Otto during his first year of behavioural school. Otto introduced him to Ultras around the world.
"I am fully sympathetic with the movement of fan power in the stands and pyrotechnics, but I have a skill and a use and if I don't find flares on people.... well... it sends me into such a depression that I start freebasing bowls of peanut butter and I'm determined not to let my own convictions lead me down that road again. 12 months sober," stated Max as he tapped an amulet around his neck.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Max decides to let some of the people with flares go and catch some of them based upon what they also have in their pockets in the way of food.