CHICAGO - The American Outlaws unveiled a political T.I.F.O display suggesting that the current United States flag needs to change, on Tuesday, during the United States - Costa Rica Copa America game.
It's the famous Red, Red, White, Red, ending on white combination! Even Canadians know that how the flag looks!
Oh. Right.
"Bro, the flag is like old shit now. We need new shit," stated American Outlaws Public Relations officer Dudebro LeBucknaked, clearly an alias given to our reporter on the scene.
"It's been the same for like... um... a thousand years or something? I mean, like we need to give a shout out to our bros who like double red. It's, like, double awesome! And if you don't like double red, you can get the hell out!"
When asked whether the basic premise for creating a T.I.F.O display of a flag would be getting it right, the AO representative said, "Hell no! Just because you are showing your flag that literally thousands of people have draped around their shoulders as reference doesn't mean you have to get it right! DID COLUMBUS HAVE TO GET IT RIGHT? Hell no. He just showed up and did shit. Let's all get behind the mighty blue white red, red and lift them to victory. Fuck Klinsmann though, bro."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as people modify their flag capes to include the double red bars.