NEW YORK - Major League Soccer announced that former Everton midfielder Wayne Rooney will be added to the Major League Soccer All-Star roster to be played on August 1, 2018 after his acquisition was announced June 28th by DC United.

Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid

"The fans have spoken and Wayne will be suiting up for the MLS All-Star game after his stellar start to the season," stated Commissioner Don Garber. "We all know that Wayne is an All-Star and this selection proves that Major League Soccer will be one of the biggest leagues in the world by 2022, or 2026, or 2030, but definitely by 2022."

Insiders state that Rooney's contract includes a mandate that he is always an All Star since he first heard the song by Smash Mouth whilst watching the biography Shrek.

"This is what, now and where against who?" Reportedly asked Rooney when told that he would be playing against Juventus in Atlanta, Georgia.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a translator fills Rooney in on what exactly an All-Star Game is and where Atlanta is and where Washington DC is and where his team currently is in the league.