WASHINGTON - D.C. United supporter Ralph Corving stated that he can’t wait to sit in the supporters section and not participate again as he said that he has experienced dreams of returning to the stadium after the pandemic ends and doing fuck all.

Corving seen here practicing his “sitting and slightly disinterested technique”

“I’m so excited to cross my arms and not sing with everyone else,” stated Corving to The Nutmeg News. “I might even start complaining about flags on the first game. Oh god, I can’t wait to complain about their dumb, stupid, flags that they spent months getting ready.”

Friends say that after his first year supporting the team that Corving has participated less and less as he lets his own embarrassment, sense of entitlement and outright hostility towards his fellow fans determine his complete apathy towards everything they do.

“It’s been a while since someone asked me if I can hear the visiting fans sing, I just want to watch the game but pay the littlest amount of attention possible. I've been working on a scowl for 6 months that says, 'don't even try to get me to sing your dumb song.' I can't wait to bust that out when people around me try to get something going."

The Nutmeg News will have more as Corving practices his list of reasons why he’s sitting in the standing section.