Soccer fan Heather Williams stated that she was absolutely certain that her Cyber Monday kit purchase was guaranteed to not immediately backfire as she selected a personalized kit with a delivery date of December 18th.

Guaranteed to get you one nod from “that guy” at the game that you recognize but don’t actually know who knows everything about the teams from four years ago but not from 10 years ago.

“Yeah, so, I had to customize the jersey because they weren’t a player option,” stated Williams to The Nutmeg News. “I’m VERY confident that there’s no way they get traded while this thing ships.”

Friends state that Williams slavish devotion to outcasts and fringe players lead to a varied kit collection of players that are now on their third team from the time when she acquired their kit.

However, Williams was adamant that this time there wasn’t an issue.

“I know that the ownership group is going to value their contribution, this time,” stated Williams. “Some people think that I’m stupid for doing this but I know that there’s no way this is going to immediately backfire on me.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as MLS, the NWSL, the USL and the NPSL lets everyone know there’s only 24 hours left for the Cyber After Monday sale