Philadelphia, PA - Philadelphia Union fan Don Anderson screamed, “HATE ME, YOU COWARDS,” towards a grateful nation that is showering the location with love after a caustic election.

“I told a Red Bull fan to go sit on a chair full of nails and they said ‘thank you for saving the country’. I hate this. I don’t want to be the anti-hero,” stated Anderson to our reporter.

Anderson indicated that he is part of a long standing culture of gritty Philadelphia sports fans that perceives the world as being against them as they sing the lifted Millwall song, “Nobody likes us and we don’t care,” in the Sons Of Ben section.

“I'll throw a snowball with a rock in it at the next Santa I see," stated Anderson who was immediately thanked for his attempt to stop a too early creep of Christmas advertising before Thanksgiving. “I even booed a group of children crossing the street and they said, ‘thanks for keeping up the spirit of Halloween.’ I can’t do anything right. Everyone loves us and I STILL don’t care.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as Anderson checks himself into Anger Mismanagement class.