WASHINGTON - President Trump is set to announce an executive order against USL League One team Forward Madison after finding out that the team did not judge him enough of a social media influencer to justify sending him one of their new Drip Kits.

The draft executive order being prepared by the Trump administration tests the boundaries of White House whining. In a long-shot bid, it seeks to get a free kit from Forward Madison because the new kits are cool and the President didn’t get one but other people did.

It marks a dramatic escalation by Trump in his war on Forward Madison as the President has regularly accused the club of not giving him enough free stuff.

The draft order, which was reviewed by TNN, targets a law known as the Give Me Free Shit Act. Section 230 of the legislation provides everything to the President because he is the President under the auspices of the Good To Be The King Act from 1981.

“In a country that has long cherished fucking over someone else to get ahead, we cannot allow a limited number of soccer kits to be given to so many but so few,” the draft order says. “This practice is fundamentally un-American and anti-democratic. When large, powerful teams censor the President from free things they exercise a dangerous power.”

.The draft order also accuses Forward Madison of “invoking inconsistent, irrational, and groundless justifications to punish the President by not giving him a free kit because if they gave it to The Cooligans then they should give it to the President.”

Finally, the draft order would direct the Federal Trade commission to report on complaints about Forward Madison collected by the White house and to consider bringing lawsuits against teams accused of not giving the President free shit.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the President claims that Forward Madison is fake news.