EDITORS NOTE: It’s been reported that the numbers of 250 of 500 were conflated from two reports and the actual number of positive tests are far lower. However, that doesn’t stop the idea of Carlos Vela walking in a blow up bubble through a TSA body scanner any less funny. So, just deal with it and use your imagination.

NEW YORK - In light of the recent testing that showed 250 of 500 Orlando airport workers tested were infected with COVID-19, Major League Soccer announced a plan to protect all the players flying to the MLS IS BACK TOURNAMENT by rolling them through the airport in hermetically sealed inflatable plastic balls.

“This NEW COVID-19 policy will ensure the safety of our players and staff,” stated commissioner Don Garber. “We take safety as the highest priority and it’s very important to us that we actually fly to the location before any specific team has an outbreak. We believe that there will be enough air to get them to Orlando as long as we don’t have a layover.”

Insiders state that the league has requested a larger TSA scanner that will accommodate the inflatable plastic balls, and they plan on slightly deflating the balls once upon the plane in order to ensure that the players can fit.

“If someone doesn’t fit they will just put them in the cargo hold,” stated one insider. “We are already negotiating a first class, business class, low class option with the MLS Players Union. We got the idea from our scheduled viewing of Soul Plane.”

For their part, the players say that they are skeptical that this will work, but there is supposedly a split between players with the means to purchase and tailor their plastic bubble versus those that will just be forced into whatever the league can find.

“It’s all well and good that Chicharito can have a Louis Vuitton plastic bubble, but what about me,” stated one anonymous player.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as they are forced to abandon players from FC Cincinnati after the structural integrity on their bubbles fail.