Seattle, WA - Sources with the Seattle Sounders state that the club is planning on recycling tactics from the past few years in an effort to give a more environmentally conscious presence for Earth Day.
“Just because they are old tactics doesn’t mean that we can’t use them,” stated head coach Brian Schmetzer. “Why all you need is a bit of care, a bit of compost and suddenly your old tactics are new again.”
Team sources indicate that great care was taken over the last few years to build a big enough compost pile to consistently recycle the tactics over and over and over again.
“If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” stated one team insider. “We are just gonna keep shoveling on all this sweet compost and every year we get a bumper crop of results. It’s amazing what you can grow if you just keep putting all the previous results back into the same deep shit every year. Look at our record!”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Sounders state that they are transitioning to a “no dig” methodology of player acquisition as they spread cardboard over the area, cover it with sod and hope that some good shit turns up.