Portland, OR - For apparently no reason in particular, the Portland Timbers announced they would include the slogan, “Boys Will Be Boys,” on the 2022 kit jock tag.

“In the past we have used that location as an homage to our fans,” stated the Timbers in a press release they sent to the business department of the New England Journal of Medicine. “However, this time we want to honor our players. The boys on the field play hard and the boys OFF the field play hard. The Boys Will Be Boys jock tag honors our commitment to that lifestyle.”

Fans reportedly were incensed that this could be some kind of attempt at justifying the horrible behavior of the front office, coaches and players over the past years, however the Front Office of the Timbers denied that.

“We love our fans, but dissident malcontents are always attempting to stir up trouble. We know that the vast majority of the stadium agrees that Boys Will Be Boys, and that’s where we stand…. with our fans.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Merritt Paulson issues a non-apology admittance that he was not involved in creation of the jock tag, nor consulted.