Portland, OR - The scandal doused organization known as the Portland Timbers reportedly asked if the 5th investigation into the club would be free with a completed punch card.
ITS THOSE PESKY FANS THAT ARE TO BLAME!
“We already have our own investigation and the USSF investigation by Sally Yates, now another investigation into Andy Polo and the league independent investigation so the next one is free, right?” stated one source with the team.
Reportedly, the team fumbled around it its wallet for the investigation punch card after being notified that there would be an independent league investigation into their cover up of Andy Polo’s domestic violence, as they stated, “well at least we should get a free latte out of it.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Timbers indicate that they would work hard on repairing the bond between themselves and the fans as soon as the fans apologize for allowing this to happen.