Cincinnati, OH - Speaking passionately about the state of the American fans at the United States vs Morocco game, Christian Pulisic blamed Millennials and their inability to save for killing the USMNT fanbase.
Stating, “Fans need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and prioritize debt elimination so they can attend USMNT games,” Pulisic castigated the youth group who are now between 35 to 40 years old.
“Millennials are constantly getting into debt from their student loans to ivy league schools to their avocado toast to their useless expenditures for boutique coffee,” stated Pulisic. “What we are seeing is their inability to save for necessary expenditures like tickets to a meaningless game against Morocco on a Wednesday night.”
Pulisic went on to say, “they need to spend less at the grocery store and more at Ticketmaster. What are groceries right now? £50 a month delivered? Maybe they should stop driving as much and take the train to work. Maybe they should consider having their personal assistant take a pay cut. Maybe they should stop spending all their money on frappe latte’s at Starbucks so they could afford to cancel all their credit card debt. Seriously, what are their financial advisors telling them to do with their bond and security investments that they can’t pay off their bills by just cutting a television promo for a Chipotle.”
The Nutmeg News will have more as Pulisic suggests every fan earmark additional funds from their offshore accounts in tax havens for future USMNT games.