LOS ANGELES - Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) today announced a new innovative bottle throwing sponsorship for their fans with international brand Pepsico.
“We feel that LAFC fans are known around the world as a leader in throwing drinks, bottles and cups on the field and at players after their team loses a game,” stated LAFC’s director of fan engagement. “And Pepsico is known as being a leader in innovate drink ideas. It was a perfect marriage in the stands.”
Sources say that Pepsico is working to making more aerodynamic bottles branded with LAFC colors for fans to throw at the head of opposing keepers, and a whole line of flavored drinks that will strike fear in the heart of every 21 year old, 128 pound midfielder from Cuernavaca.
“We believe that Keeper Krusher will be the newest trend going forward,” stated one Pepsico source. “When you hate that your team lost a game and you have no other method of showing your anger because you are a frustrated man-baby, why not throw a bottle at the opposing team! Show that you don’t even believe the opposing players are human any more! They are the avatar of your frustration incarnate and clearly deserve to be covered in garbage! KEEPER KRUSHER!”
Fans with the LAFC Supporters Groups report that they are excited for the opportunity to hurl branded drinks at opposing players and fans, however not everyone is excited by the move.
“This is just another example of the corporate interests trying to take advantage of our pure fan support and homegrown movement to pelt everyone on the field with garbage,” stated one anonymous LAFC fan. “It’s important to us to keep our traditions alive of behaving liked 3 year old toddlers when we lose. How else will anyone be able to define an LAFC fan when they lose if we don’t pelt the field with full cups of $13 beer and half empty bottles.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as fans admit that the aerodynamic nature of Keeper Krusher bottles does make it more likely to concuss Nahuel Guzmán if he celebrates on their field again.