NEW YORK - During the recent NASL antitrust lawsuit against Major League Soccer (MLS), it was revealed that roughly half of all United States soccer accounts online were found to be NASL Chairman and New York Cosmos owner Rocco Commisso.

“It’s Commisso all the way down,” stated one insider to the situation. “Commisso is Ted Westervelt, Commisso is Global Soccer Fan, Commisso is Virgil Kane, Commisso is even World Soccer Talk. Everything is Commisso.”

Sources say that Commisso had 4600 phones on him at all times for his posting as he was strapped into a posting chair and fed a diet of conspiracy theories, mountain dew and replays of the State Of The League speech from Don Garber from 2013.

“Commisso was EVERYONE,” stated our source. “Even the opposite side. Alexi Lalas? Commisso. Don Garber? COMMISSO. Sunil Gulati? DEFINITELY Commisso. YOU ARE COMMISSO.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as legal investigates if we are also Rocco Commisso.