UNITED STATES - Reporters embedded with the 507th Irregulars servicing the grand United Soccer League (USL) Army pushed into No-Man’s land as the simmering detente between 1st division men’s professional soccer in the United States was broken.

“It’s early days,” stated Nutmeg News embedded reporter Kristen Armstrong, “however troops with the USL report they are bullish on success as they battle against the ground troops of Major League Soccer at strategic positions throughout the United States.”

Sources say that Major League Soccer was not caught unawares, however they remain confident that their entrenched positions will hold

“We will prevent any loss of land from any of our autonomous zones,” stated Brigadier General Ambroise Van Dyk. “We will fight them in the air, on the streaming platforms and on the field. We will not fail. We will hold our own and we will break the enemy upon the walls of Dick’s Sporting Good Park.”

The Nutmeg News will have more from the Soccer Warz as they rage.