Kansas City, MO - Missouri native David Klinger recently realized that his fandom with the Sporting Kansas City soccer team has gone from sports interest to full blown love, recently.
"It just hit me, I don't just want the team to win... I want them to move into my house so we can wake up together and have coffee on the weekends while we shop for gardening supplies at Home Depot" said the 36 year old Klinger. "I just can't get enough of them. I want to take them for Bar-B-Q and an evening concert downtown. I want to go have brunch and talk about our day. The way they look, the way they win, the way that the park smells at the end of a game..... It is simply entrancing."
Klinger's ex-girlfriend, Victoria Westbrook, said that his fixation with the team went from normal to extreme nearly overnight. "He just started talking about how dreamy Sporting Kansas City was and that their collective eyes were the color of passion ignited in the flame of true beauty. It was really odd. He said that this isn't even him exploring his sexuality. He isn't interested in a relationship with a man, but rather in a relationship with the whole team. The whole thing is just weird."
Klinger has stated that he just wants the team to know that he is their number one true love and supporter through thick and thin. He has even talked about changing his last name to David Sporting Kansas City when he and the team get married.
"At some point, I just want the team to know that I'm their lover. I love them. Is it so damn hard for a man to have physical urges for a team?"
Sporting Kansas City commented to say that they are looking into a possible restraining order if Klinger continues to mail kinko's copies of to-do lists for his home and pictures of his genitals painted Sporting blue to the front office.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this story as it continues.