Sacramento, CA - Sacramento Republic fan Thomas Redding has credited the twitter account of Rob Stone, Fox Sports host, for whipping him up into a frenzy about Giovinco's omission to the Italian national team.
I am ANGERED, ROB... ANGERED.
"I was fine before all this, honestly I didn't really care. After all, I'm a Sacramento Republic fan," stated Mr. Redding to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday morning. "However after that one tweet by Mr. Stone, I found myself whipped into an irrational frenzy. Suddenly I realized I was supposed to care, somehow, about a player that I don't like that plays for a league that I don't follow for a team that I don't care about for a national team that I don't watch! I... WAS... INCENSED!"
Reportedly, Mr. Redding realized that Mr. Stone was totally right about him needing to be angered, because apparently he wasn't being a vocal proponent of some Italian's career internationally!
"My God! I haven't been advocating for the inclusion of Italian footballers for all these years! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE! I realized that everything that I've ever known is a lie. I need to be advocating for more Italian footballers. I need to start belligerently yelling at Antonio Conte, even though I live in California and he doesn't care. HE SHOULD CARE! What Rob Stone has shown me is that we should all be opinionated assholes about all these things that have nothing to do with us! I've finally hit my Onward Christian Soldiers moment in life and my crusade is going to be advocating for fringe Italian players who are currently playing for a team and league that I don't care about."
Reportedly, this new configuration of Mr. Redding's life has made him reconsider his decision to buy a house in Sacramento and marry his fiance. He now states that his ultimate goal is to figure out a way to tell Antonio Conte his displeasure that in some guy in Orlando not making the Italian national team.
"ROB STONE WOULD TELL YOU IT IS UNAMERICAN TO NOT BE PERPETUALLY OUTRAGED ABOUT BULLSHIT," yelled Mr. Redding at people walking in front of his local coffee shop.
"ROB STONE IS RIGHT. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BE MAD ABOUT GIOVINCO FOR SOME REASON. I'M NOT SURE WHAT REASON THAT IS, BUT IS IS LIKELY SOMETHING IDIOTIC. ALSO, 'MURICA AND SOME OTHER PATRIOTIC STUFF. ALL HAIL STONE. ALL HAIL STONE!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Redding dresses all in denim and tries to plan how he is going to yell at Antonio Conte.