Denver, CO - Tired of living in separate worlds between two different friends, Colorado Rapids fan David Thornberry finally decided to introduce his clinical depression to his anxiety as he stated, “I think you guys would get along, you both like the same team.”
“It’s hard to make friends these days,” stated Thornberry to the ziploc bag he uses to store his marijuana. “And with the pandemic, dating is pretty much out the window so I decided to invite the only friends I have to hang out together.”
According to Thornberry, he’s long been friends with both clinical depression and anxiety, but the two haven’t been in the same circles until 2020.
“They both seem to like me and they both seem to like 2020 and they both seem to love the Rapids so I think it’s a perfect fit,” stated Thornberry with a glassy stare as he relentlessly scrolled through Zillow looking at houses he can’t afford. “Let’s go watch the highlights of the Dallas loss together and crack a beer. I think it’ll be a rip roaring time.”
Friends state that Thornberry has had a tough 2020, so far, as good friend Imposter Syndrome stated, “he just doesn’t fit in anywhere right now and his work is going to figure out that he isn’t qualified and when he loses his job what is that going to do? He’s going to be on the street and … well.. see… Anxiety and I hang out all the time so I think they will totally get along with clinical depression.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Anxiety and Depression try to have an intervention with Thornberry but he just won’t listen.