Major League Soccer, on Thursday, sent an email to Steve to ask Diana to ask Guillermo to ask Henry to see if the Players Union will accept a new CBA.

“Our technique of asking the fans to ask each other to ask the players is bulletproof,” stated MLS legal adviser Henry Dent. “We aren’t asking the Players Union directly, we would rather continue our negotiations in the public sphere where we can try to get the people on our side.”

Treating the situation like divorcing parents using their children as proxies, the two adult entities relied on the public sphere to influence the negotiating power of the groups as they attempted to petition random people who once went to a game or signed up for a promotion with their email.

“This is a foolproof plan,” stated Dent. “We only have to convince the people that the Union is the reason why they potentially will not have soccer more than the Union has to try to convince people the league is the reason why they potentially will not have soccer even though its just going to come down to the both of us sitting down and hashing out our differences like the adults we pretend to be.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Players Union asks the Players to ask the fans to ask the referees to tell MLS that they will NOT meet them at the playground as requested.