WASHINGTON - Former soccer player Andrew Carleton was reportedly released from a Make America Great Again (MAGA) D.C. police lineup in an end-of-season roster dump as the former Atlanta United player returned from Washington D.C. without scoring a felony.
“It was really just everything,” stated one source. “ Andrew couldn’t remember the name of five cereals for his Proud Boys induction ceremony, for starters. The real problem is that Carleton was highly inconsistent as he missed a point blank opportunity to score a felony by charging the floor of the Senate.”
Sources indicate that a energetic Carleton posted a photo of him heading to the insurrectionist rally in Washington D.C. to his Instagram page.
The recently released Atlanta United player was reportedly excited to show all of his past, present and future teammates that he was capable of being productive with upholding white supremacy and staging a coup for Donald Trump.
“He’s really excited to let every black teammate know that he walks side by side with people who openly denigrate Black Lives Matter and their community,” stated one source.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a dejected Carleton calls around looking for other opportunities to overthrow a democratically elected government.