LOS ANGELES - LAFC fan Edward Albertson stated that the $14 beers at the Banc were not getting him as buzzed in the stadium as they seemed to do pre-pandemic.

“I can’t think of why anything would’ve changed,” stated Albertson to The Nutmeg News. “Other than spending the last year stuck at home and coping with the state of the world by drinking more than usual, everything stayed the same.”

Albertson indicated that his tolerance has probably shifted up since he started working and living entirely from his 1 bedroom apartment, but that all he was doing was spending 4 hours a night drinking beer and playing FIFA, every night… for a year.

“I just didn’t think it would take me out of the game this much,” stated Albertson to The Nutmeg News. “It really costs $28 for two beers? This is highway robbery?! Have we always played this way? Who the hell is this team we are playing against? So THIS is sobriety.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Albertson vows to get sober in order to get drunk in the stadium again.