NWSL Schedule Located On Container Ship Stuck In Suez Canal

CAIRO - Reporters from The Nutmeg News global division were finally able to locate the long lost 2022 National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL) schedule as, apparently, the much delayed schedule is actually on a container ship bound for the United States that is stuck in Suez Canal.

“We are desperately reaching out to anyone that can help,” stated one NWSL spokesperson. “We ordered the schedule months ago and it just hasn’t arrived.”

Those in the know stated that the NWSL has enlisted the help of local body shops on the east coast to also attempt to order an NWSL schedule as they have been navigating parts shortages and supply chain issues for years now.

“We placed an order for an NWSL schedule from Ali Baba,” stated Larry Hogan of Fulton’s Body Shop. “Yeah, just trying to help the outfit down the street. We place an order for an NWSL schedule and they place an order for the hood and bumper sensors to a Toyota Camry. It’s a win/win for us and them. Hopefully one of us will get an NWSL schedule in soon.”

For its part, the ship remains stuck in the Suez Canal due to security concerns with the current Russian invasion of Ukraine . However, NWSL sources indicated they thought it could show up any day.

“We will give you a call when it gets here,” stated one NWSL source. “It’s going to be here any day. ANY DAY.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the NWSL avoids answering any more calls about when the schedule arrives.