NORTH AMERICA - 39 year old Soccer fan D.A. Harrington reportedly claimed that they, “can’t wait to stay up for these World Cup games,” despite falling asleep at 10:15 pm last night while watching their laptop.
“I’m staying up LATE,” stated Harrington even though their average bed time has been between 9:30 and 10:45 pm. “Can’t wait for that early wake up call for Australia and the Republic of Ireland.”
Sources indicate that Harrington has reportedly stocked their house with Coffee, Redbull and even Yerba Mate cans in an effort to try to stay awake for the late night/early morning games.
“Spain v Costa Rica! HELL YEAH! I’m THERE,” stated Harrington to friends on a bombastic group chat. “It’s gonna be a PARTY!”
Friends reportedly are concerned that Harrington might be writing checks their body can’t cash, but they remain defiant.
“I told D.A. that the last time I remember them staying out past 11:30 pm was 5 years ago and they texted out of meeting the next day for lunch because… and I quote…. ‘I’m literally dead. DECEASED,’ so I’m not holding my breath on that early game,” stated good friend Paula Williams.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Harrington excuses themselves from the Zambia vs Japan watch party and the England vs Haiti watch party and the Denmark and China watch party and really everything on the 22nd of July after completely overdoing it during the United States vs Vietnam game.