LAS VEGAS - Calling from his rented penthouse at the Cosmopolitan, San Jose Earthquakes owner John Fisher reportedly reached out to former Earthquakes General Manager Alexi Lalas for advice on how to run the team further into the ground in order to facilitate a move.

“How’d you do such an abysmal job with the team that the league allowed AEG to force a move,” stated Fisher to Lalas. “When you traded the rights for Landon Donovan to the Galaxy while Donovan was in Germany, did you feel that this was the clincher for getting the team to move? Or did you need to threaten the city council more?”

Sources say that Fisher realized that he could offer Las Vegas a 2 for 1 setup of getting a Major League Baseball team and a Major League Soccer team at one time if he could convince the MLS that the stadium they opened 8 years ago under his watch was actually out of date.

“What city wouldn’t want a criminally underfunded and terrible baseball team and a criminally underfunded and terrible soccer team! It’s a two for one!”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Lalas advises Fisher to make a bunch of really bad trades to teams that he has a controlling interest in and be such a shit general manager that websites write articles about terrible his tenure was at three separate teams.