INTERNET - Brigades of optimists and pessimists are facing off online in a global internet battle to determine who will get the utterly meaningless credit of being the first to accurately encapsulate their team’s season.
“We are seeing pitched battles on team hashtags, supporter specific Facebook groups and within team subreddits over whether or not specific teams across the league are going to be shit or going to be great,” stated MLS researcher Isabella West. “In nearly all sectors, with very few exceptions, the battle is pitched right now. We are seeing ad-hominem attacks, statistics, screenshots, subtweeting, blocking, favoriting, and spurious rumors. It’s a complete out and out war.”
Researchers say that this pitched battle is really only happening online as no one is walking up to a complete stranger to call them a, “complete coward who doesn’t know shit about football.”
“This is an intense online fight to determine who can claim the high ground at a later time for being ultimately right,” stated Ms. West. “However there really are no winners. There’s no prize money for being the most technically correct. There’s just the notoriety that comes from being so online that you managed to sift through the public relations and pre-season bullshit to somehow accurately guess what is going to happen come November.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the only supporters not fighting amongst themselves are fans of Toronto FC.
